So, as I am in the thick of it with potty training my second son, I've come to my own theory of the process. I think this holds true to all children, though the time frame may vary.
However, since I do potty awareness with my babies from such a young age, this theory does not take into account the fear factor that older toddlers have. Both of my children have grown accustom to the potty from the get-go and have done the most of their learning before the age of major fear issues.
Also, before their favorite word is NO. Though, I think that is mostly for my benefit.
Also, neither of my children have any learning, emotional or physical handicaps that might delay this process all together.
Either way, I still think the theory holds true for all children, it's just those other things will affect the efficiency and timeliness of the process.
I, personally, do not believe you have to wait for signs of "readiness". I think that like lots of other things, potty learning is taught. I, also, think it is much easier done early than later. While your child is still wanting to please, not asserting their ability to say NO and before they have major fear issues.
Remember, this is just my opinion from my experiences.
I do agree with following your child's lead when it comes to things that provide them with much comfort. I do not feel that soiling themselves is one of those things. I think they are just doing what they have been taught to do.
I, personally, blame the disposable diaper companies for delaying this process.
Again, my opinion.
With that being said.....
I believe that there are several major stages to potty learning.
1) The potty equals elimination of pee and poop.
This first step is reached through timing, repetition, cues, praise and lots of hawk eye watching of your little one. During this phase, eventually your child will figure out that sitting on the potty means it's time to eliminate.
At the beginning of the phase, you will potty your child at specific intervals (depending on your child's own timing). At first, you will notice that your little only eliminates when absolutely needed. After several days of consistency, you will notice your child actually trying to eliminate when put on the potty. Therefore, they are growing aware of the connection between the potty and attempting to use it.
All in all, when consistent, this process takes 2-5 days.
2) Eliminating is ONLY for the potty.
I feel this one is a little tougher, cognitively, and takes more time to master. Even when the child has mastered the first stage, they still are unaware of "accidents" and why thy are accidents. During this stage, that light bulb clicks.
This step is reached through further consistency, timing, praise, and lots of dialogue. Even using the dialogue of No and why we don't eliminate outside the potty. And in no way do I mean scolding. Just explanation. Like, "no no, pee pee is for the potty. Not your underwear". Make sure to use an even tone, matter of fact voice. Keep it light, yet consistent, and just carry on. This is also where you loosen up on the cues, and allow your child to make some mistakes, while being close enough to catch them mid process. These are precious opportunities that allow you the redirect your child and explain why. I find this IS the best way for them to connect the dots. But make sure you are there to redirect them while it is happening. That's the most important part. Since this skill is tougher to master, I think it takes anywhere from 5 days to two weeks.
3) Feeling the urge before it's time to eliminate and controlling it.
Though, I feel this stage takes much longer to complete, I think your child can be mostly potty trained while mastering it. And that is because those first weeks and months, you will still be reminding your child to use the potty or asking if they need to.
During this stage, they should be able to tell you if they need to use the potty/ or take themselves- most of the time.
Constant reminders, especially before outings or long trips are necessary as is continued praise and dialogue.
Though your child can be mostly potty trained throughout this stage, the actually mastery could take months. You'll know this stage is completed when accidents are down to almost none.
4) Overnight Dryness
This is the final stage of the entire potty learning experience. This also applies to naps. And for some children, it is mastered before the potty learning process is even started. Some babies just do not eliminate while they sleep. Others, it can take longer for them to be cognitive enough to not eliminate during the night, or to wake up enough to take themselves to the potty. Though I feel this is the final stage of potty learning, it's the only one that I think comes at the child's own pace. Unlike the the other 3 stages that can be taught, this stage comes in due time. IMO.
I will add that during the entire potty learning process, I think there are certain things I find to be hugely beneficial.
Consistency
Routine
Major praise
Rewards
Happy Dances :)
Dialogue
Planning
And most importantly, if you decide to potty train, commit to it. Pick a time where you can devote your self to your child. Otherwise, if you go back and forth, you will only cause confusion.
Right now, I have a 4 year old, work 4 days a week, yet, I still am able to devote the time needed to my 18 month old during this process.
I hope this made sense, and someone finds it as beneficial as I do.
Michele
No comments:
Post a Comment