Battle Wounds n All.

Long story short.
I found a knot on my side while pregnant with Escher.
When he was about 6 months, I finally went to the doctor to have it checked out.
After a cat scan, MRI, and biopsy, it was diagnosed as a Desmoid tumor on my abdominal wall.

Here is a link that talks about them. This place is one of the best centers for treating them.

desmoid tumor

I decided to go with a local general surgeon and plastic surgeon team since they felt confident with the surgery.
I didn't want to have to travel and make it even harder on my family.

I had the surgery last Tuesday on 11/27.
The surgeons said it went really well.
In a nutshell, they removed about a 5 inch chunk of my stomach muscle (on the right side) including the part that holds in your insides, put a piece of biological mesh there, pulled down a flap of muscle from above, chipped off a chunk of my hip bone, and sewed me back up.
Pathology did come back clear, so, that really lowers my chance for recurrence which is good.
They even gave me a spinal block after surgery cause they were worried about pain.
Coming out of anesthesia was the worst. I stayed in the hospital for two days, and then came home.
All in all, recovery is going well.
I cannot lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for 6 weeks. And I have a nine month old. :(
My family had been amazing! My mom has been non-stop. She does everything. Escher loves her so much that he didn't have one hiccup during the transition. I am going to have to work really hard on getting him back.
Eric has been sick, working like crazy, and managing home life.
My dad has taken me to appointments and had to handle all the hectic ness.
My brother and sis n law keep coming to see me.
My sister already came down for several days to help.
And now Eric's parents are on their way down to help for the weekend and give my mom a break.
Without family, I would be incredibly sad, and this would be impossible.

I am still nursing, and I want to thank Eric for helping me with all the pumping and drama at the hospital. He even went mama bear on some nurse that wasn't going to let him put the milk in the fridge for the patients on our floor. He said she was wearing black scrubs, had dark hair and thought she was all Johny Cash and shit. haha... she met her match! I already had approval. He caused such a stink, she was made to come and apologize to us. Even the nurse's manager came and apologized, and said they had never dealt with this. So, it was a learning lesson for all. You are welcome Indian River Medical Center.

So, here I am. Not only am I recovering, but I am sharing our bed with a toddler with the flu. And he just had the fiercest nose bleed.

Damn, we had a good run while it lasted. I'm ready for the roller coaster to start going back up, thank you. :)

Round 2- swim lessons

This is a quickie update just to post Ryden's accomplishments from his second session of swim lessons. When we showed up to family and friends day, he was so much more at ease this time. No sad face to speak of.



Here are three quick videos showing off his skills.
The titles say it all.

So proud of him!
And I will continue to fine tune his abilities at home.











Love him!

Summertime Fun time

Today, was Ryden's big day completing his swim class.






He is not a swimmer, but he is much closer to being one, and far more aware of himself in the pool.
Up until now, he has always gone swimming with some type of floating device. Usually, a swim vest.
But no more.
So we only go forward, and never backwards, he is to only go in the pool without any assistance. Except, for floating things in the pool to climb on to.
He was not a huge fan of swim class. But unlike most, it wasn't a fear of water, it's that he doesn't like water on his face. He still isn't a fan, but is much better.

The teachers are serious about teaching swimming. And I'm not one for making my son do things he seems to be a bit afraid of or makes him cry, but this case was different. We have a pool, and he NEEDS to know water safety, in my opinion.
Eric and I weighed all the options, and really thought about what was most important.
Some tears for a few minutes a day for several weeks, or the worst case scenario.... falling in the pool with no clue what to do.

That alone answered our question.
If we didn't have a pool, maybe we would have skipped it.

So, here we are. Going to watch him today was great. He did really good, and is only going to get better.
He starts another session in two weeks. I think that session is really going to turn him into a little fish.

Today, we got to see him jump in the pool, and swim for a couple of seconds under water.

Go under water and retrieve a ring.


And finally, jump in and turn around and go back to the wall. A safety technique to get himself out.

Now, he wasn't perfect, but he's got the bones down.


Other than his little sad face (I think he saved it just for us), he made me so happy!



love,
little fishies

Magical.

Why I have been bestowed the baby who is the amazing sleeper at night I will never know. Or his older brother was much worse of a sleeper than I ever knew, that I am, for once, experiencing the magic of a sleeping baby.

Tonight, for the first time in my life, I soothed a tiny baby to sleep, not by rocking him, or nursing, or even walking around with him. I soothed him to sleep simply by laying next to his bed, singing to him, holding his hand, and telling him, "it's ok." And that is all he needed.

He just needed to know I was there.
And man, his sweetness just melts me.


I am just thankful for this..............






and more giggling from the other day.



♥

Mr. Contrarian and Mr. Stinky Pants.

Me: "The sky is blue."
Ryden: "No, it's not. It's purple."

insert snarky smirk (Ryden) and complimentary eye roll (me)

Yes. That is my life. A smart, comedic genius who seems to be fine tuning his skills on us every day.
However, the one silver lining is as he develops his sass, his sense of humor is coming right along with it. And he has really turned into quite the comedian. Not to mention, his timing. It's pretty amazing for a 2 1/2 year old.

Other than that, Ryden is finally getting back into the swing of routine. He still tries us quite often, but, now, he only has a few breakdowns. That is quite the improvement.

There are times where he has a bit of obsessive tendency. Like last week, it was over a plastic, purple easter egg. It went with him everywhere, and he talked about it A LOT!
The week before that, he had a cold and had a couple of nose bleeds, so, he would walk around holding a tissue at his nose constantly. When I would put him to bed, I would make him lay it down on his pillow.
I almost lost it when I saw him walking out of his classroom, one day, holding it to his nose. *head slap* UGHH!!!
But as quick as they came, they have gone.

He also has a thing for distinguishing between good guys and bad guys lately. Like, it's a nice spider, or nice snake, or nice ghost. Kind of funny.
And as for the bad guys, he has been yelling, "watch out mommy!" for the bad guys that are coming.

Now, for the pip squeak. I must say, it is so much easier the second time. But, nevertheless, it's still filled with the complete ups and downs of non-stop attention.

One day he naps ok on his own. The next day, he won't let me put him down. Then there are evenings where he is LITERALLY nursing for 2-3 hours straight.
But.... and a big but, I knew this going in to it. SO, it makes it much easier, and makes me much less resentful of being so needed all the time.

Don't get me wrong, though. Doing it a second time, doesn't make it all peachy. I still get tapped out, I still get frustrated, I still get tired, and I still tell him to "go to sleep, damn it!" sometimes.
It is what it is.

Oh, the sleep thing. There is part of the momma/baby physiological synchronicity dance that is SO amazing, but just as frustrating and exhausting.

Like, how can he be in such a deep sleep, but know exactly when I try to sneak out of bed?
Or how is it that the moment that he starts to stir, my boobs start to let-down (release milk)?

And I am so over the 20 minute wake-up, followed by the 45 minute wake-up while napping independently. I can't wait until he gets past that.

Being a second time mom, I thought I was on top of cleaning all the folds in his neck.
But to my surprise, I found a sour milk, butter fold under his chin. Yikes, I do not miss those.

On the note of stinky pants, Escher has the stinkiest gas! I, initially, cut dairy out of my diet and it went away. But then a couple of weeks later, it came back. Since then, I watch which veggies I eat, and have stopped getting my soy chai latte every night. And I hate soy, but started it to replace the milk I was drinking. I think it is slowly working.

Staying with the same topic, I have not changed more than 1 or 2 poop diapers in the past 2-3 weeks.
Yep, that's what I said.
Every morning, I take Escher to the bathroom, and that is where he now goes. And that is it.
I hope I get a record similar to Ryden's where I went about 6 months no poopy diaper. Which is even more of a bonus when you use cloth.
Plus, another second time mom perk is knowing I'm not crazy doing this.
I am absolutely positive that starting this so young with Ryden is part of the reason he potty trained at 18 months... never looking back!


Ryden had his first pieces of candy (other than lolli pops) this weekend. It was a bite of Starburst, followed by a few jelly beans. And man, he was so pleased! He told a few people after that, "I eat candy, I chew it." :)
It was pretty cute, but I can't help to think I am forever screwed when I am in the check out line at the grocery store now.
He got to go to two Easter egg hunts and it was great. I know he loved it.

Escher has started to really smile now, and it is the most awesome thing ever. And NEVER gets old.
Sometimes he even tries to talk back to me, and I absolutely love it.
It's the icing on the crooked cake.


(Jordan, if you are reading, this is why Ryden told you his baby brother is stinky. haha!!!)

I am going to get out the camera and start taking more pics. Not just with my phone.
I promise.

I went to my last appointment (6 week pp check up) with Angie yesterday, and it was a little sad. Sad that it is all over. I feel like a certain chapter (child bearing) of my life is now closed.
I guess I will march on with child rearing. :)

And we did a quick weigh of Escher, and I think he is somewhere around 14.5 lbs and 6 weeks. HAH!

And for good measure, in case you missed this, here is one of Ryden. :)


love,
us

Big Changes... In Little Time.

Today I went to my first appointment with my midwife minus my belly. It was surreal, though in a refreshing way. It really puts things into perspective. Time flies!!!

Even those last days and weeks of pregnancy, that went by in slow motion, will pass.
Believe it or not.

While my sweet baby is sleeping next to me, I am going to type ultra fast.
And by sweet baby, I mean my little mini-me.
Eric has Ryden, with bits of me, and I have Escher, probably with bits of Eric.


But here is a newborn pic of me... and one of Eschy.....

 




My little sweetness.

In these 2+ weeks, there have so been so many changes. Most of all, they have affected our little Ryden. He is doing good, considering, but I feel so bad.
I feel so bad for his routine going to poop.
I feel so bad for the parent I have been at times.
I feel so bad that he is sad at times.
.... and the list goes on.

He has cried more, had more breakdowns, tried us more, been yelled at more, taken a "moment" in his room more in these past two weeks than his entire life.
Eric and I even regrouped the other night, to discuss trying a better approach.

You definitely aren't feeling your best when a two and half year old is getting the most of you.
For these reasons, we are remembering to be more gentle with him, more tolerant, more consistent, and most of all... more tuned in.

And we also remind ourselves, this, too, shall pass.
And when it does, hopefully no scars are left behind.

As for everything else, things are coming along.
Eric goes back to work next week (though, not soon enough if you ask him :)  ).
I feel great- feeling human again.
Escher weighed in, today, at 11 lbs. 8 ozs. At just 2 and a half weeks.

Now, we jsut need to take Ilsa on a 10 mile run, and everyone will be happy.


And just in case you didn't see it, I am linking to the most amazing birth slide show that was put together by our photographer. I, honestly, had no idea how many amazing shots she got. And with the music, it still makes me cry almost every time I watch it. And I do watch it once a day. :)

If you are ever in Vero Beach and need a photographer, I highly recommend her.
a. tappen photography

CLICK ME TO WATCH SLIDE SHOW!!!!!!! 

And while I am at it......

If you are in Vero Beach, and need the most fantastic and caring midwife,
please contact Angela Love
I could not have done this without her. ♥

And...... baby is waking, so I'll keep it short.

Love to all,
Michele

Escher Riley Sanford's Birth Story....2/25/2012

 

Oh, the birth story…………

For the past day, I have been trying to think of how to start this and what I was going to say.
Well, the one thing I can say is that the old saying that no birth is alike, really rang true for me.
And by rang, I mean more like a blaring fog horn.

And I also have to realize this is Escher's birth story. And to let it be just that.
Though it's so hard not to compare it to Ryden's.

Now to figure out when it all started. Technically, I had my first sensation of a contraction on Saturday, February 18th.
At that point, I was just shy of 41 weeks, and thought, here we go. Well, we didn't go that far.
They petered out a few hours later.
They did, however, start back up the next day. Yet, they petered out again.
Though disappointing, I was at least pleased that something was happening.

On Monday, I had my 41 week appt., and my midwife Angie did a membrane sweep for me, per my request.
That got some things going, but nothing solid.
Now, fast forward a few days through a rough, and emotionally long week.
On Friday, I had my 41 1/2 week appt. By this point, I was more than bummed about how long it was all taking.
I was starting to feel defeated. I was also starting to become very aware of the fact that I was very soon to be "post dates".
So, again, per my request, I opted for another sweep.
We ask talked other "natural" forms of induction that I could consider if I wanted to.

I decided to go to the store, after my appointment, and pick up some herbs to help move things along.
Between the herbs, walking, pumping several times, and a few other labor stimulators, I had hoped things would really get going.
They didn't.

So, this brings us to Saturday, February 25th 2012.

I woke up and had my breakfast as usual.

Then at 9am, I decided to wash down my breakfast with a wonderful milkshake……..

….that consisted of 2 Tbsp of castor oil, orange juice and, vanilla ice cream.

Shockingly, the OJ and ice cream did an amazing job of hiding the castor oil. It was delicious.

Then Eric and I went on a walk through the neighborhood with Ryden. I was having some Braxton Hicks or "Tony Braxton's" as Eric likes to call them.
But that was it. :)
And if there was anything that I felt was holding labor back, it was not having decided on a middle name.
Well, during the walk, we instantly decided on one. Both of us.

Shortly after I go home, the castor oil kicked in for the first time. That was at 10 am.
Then I decided to do a little more pumping, and once the BH got a little stronger, I took one dose of my herbs.

I kept walking around, and could feel things continuing, though nothing major yet.
Eric was planning on doing some grocery shopping, so, he was getting ready to head out.

Right before he left, I was in the bathroom, and for the first time got a little contraction that I actually felt in my back.
I thought, now that is what I remember. And it made me pleased. So naive…. haha.

I told Eric, I think I might have just had a real contraction, so, he should get going.
I figured even if this was the beginning, it would be a long time, before things got serious.
I think at this point, it was some time around 11:30 am.

So, he left, I took a shower, and surprisingly, these contraction type feelings kept coming.
I started to blow up the birth tub, and get the room and myself ready for labor.

I let things go on for a good 30 mins. before I even attempted to time them.
I also called Eric to tell him to hurry cause I thought it was happening.
He had the nerve to answer the phone by telling me he would call me right back.

haha…. I was like, what!?!?!?

After timing them, I noticed that they were already 5 minutes apart and at least 45 seconds long.
Already!
This wasn't even an hour from when I first felt one.

Eric finally called back, and I told him that he needs to hurry home. I need him.

I also called Angie, my midwife, around 12:45 just to give her a heads up.
She told me to call her back when contractions were closer, my water broke, or if I though it was time.
I texted the photographer and told her today or tonight might be the day.

With Eric home, everything really started to speed up. We were able to get Ryden down for his nap, and I continued to labor. I was already having to sway through the contractions.

Just before 2, I felt things were moving really fast, and this was kind of freaking me out. I knew it meant I had a few hours
before baby would be here, or I was going to have a long, hard and intense labor.
I had Eric call Angie to tell her I think things were moving quickly. She asked him if I thought she should come over.
I was so thrown off by the intensity that I said, "I don't know!" and I didn't. I knew I wanted to get in the tub, and that must have meant things were intense.
She said she would start getting ready to head over.

Right after that, I had Eric help me figure out if it seemed like my water had broken. I know that sounds silly, but with Ryden it was a huge
pop and crazy gush of water.
This was this weird little trickle, that only happened occasionally.
He saw some of the trickle, and was like, "oh yeah, that's your water!!"
So, not less than 10 minutes from the last call, he called her back to tell her we 'think' my water had broken. hah!
It was now 2 pm.

I got in the birthing pool, and had Eric call everyone else.
Contractions were intense while I was in the tub. I was having 1+ minute contractions every 4-5 minutes, with 30-40 second contractions
piggy backing them a minute later. It was super overwhelming, and I had a hard time getting my head straight.

My mom arrived first. She was shopping, got the call, and left her buggy at the store and booked it over. :)
Then the photographer, Angela.


Ryden was still napping, and my poor mom was trying to stay busy, so, that she didn't have to watch me be really uncomfortable.


At one point, I got out of the tub, walked around, and swayed through contractions. 
Eric would push on my back to ease the pain.






Oh,the pain! It was really starting to freak me out. AT some moments, I was truly doubting my ability to it this time.
I remember thinking... What was I thinking doing this again?!?!


Right around 3, I think, Angie and her assistant midwife, Mary, arrived.

She watched me for a few contractions, and asked how I felt.
I had no idea. It was so intense, but so early, I didn't know what to think.

She then asked me if I wanted to be checked. I was so pleased, because I didn't know if she was going to once I was in active labor,
and knowing my waters might have broken.
I said, "YES, please!"


This is when you start doubting everything. I was so afraid she was going to tell me I was maybe a 4 or 5.
I was at 3 the previous day.

Well, good, crazy news was headed my way.
I was a really stretchy 8!!! And super effaced. Holy shit, I thought.
This is happening!


I got back into the tub, and with the next contraction or two, started to feel my body bearing down. I couldn't help it. And, oh man, was
it overwhelming. I had not felt this level of intensity with my last birth.




I yelled out to Angie that I felt like my body was pushing, and I didn't know if I should, but I couldn't handle the pain otherwise.
She said it was ok, that I was really stretchy. I was worried about causing a lip or something.




At that point, I had to get out of the tub, and go sit on the toilet. I tried standing, but that was a no-go.
I think I was in transition. Probably around 3:30. A mere 4 hours after the first feeling of something big.

I ended up on the bed, and tried pushing. Not real pushing, more of working through the contractions cause that was
the only way I could deal with the pain.


And this is why I love Eric..........


After a little while, I don't know, maybe 30 minutes of being reclined, Angie suggested
I get up, cause Escher did not like me on my back. It was affecting his heart rate.


So, I stood through some contractions, squatted, was on my hands and knees leaning over the birth ball, and a few other positions.











Eric and the midwives were super encouraging, but at a certain point, Angie felt that these weren't doing enough.
I was trying my hardest to push, but just wasn't pushing hard enough.






Angie had been so good at monitoring Escher's heart rate, and had decided it was time for me to sit back, upright, on the bed,
and really get down to business.
Nothing but straightforward calmness.

Man, this was the hardest thing I had ever done.

They put an oxygen mask on me in between contractions, and really guided me with pushing through contractions.
I'm not quite sure of the timing, but I'm thinking after maybe 10 or 15 minutes of this, Escher was making his way down and out.


Finally, after a lot, and I mean, a lot of burning, Escher's head finally came out. I was so happy to see him, and could see that his head was blue.
So, now I had to blow through the burning, until the next contraction came.

Eric was having a really hard time here. He could see his head, and that there was also the cord around Escher's neck.
Unlike Angie, Eric did not know that this was fairly common. His cord was still intact (and not clamped), so, he was still getting his oxygen.

With the next contraction, or two, out slid the rest of him.
At 4:37pm.
Unlike Ryden, I didn't get him immediately.

I heard him make a peep right when he came out, so, I knew he was ok. Even though he wasn't crying yet.
Angie flipped him over and patted on his back quite a few times, and after doing this, he was crying loud and clear.
Music to everyone's ears. :)

Though, I believe a minute too long for Eric. I feel so bad knowing how he was processing this on the inside.

Once he started crying, Angie handed him to me and started to suck a little fluid out of him. I was so happy to have him!!!






I didn't realize it, but everyone else knew he was big. I asked how big, and they were like, definitely 10 lbs.
I could not believe it! Although it did make sense with the pushing being so hard.

Oh, sweet baby!!!



After the birth, they started to manage my third stage, and I was brought some juice and Shepard's pie. :)
Angie had to give me some pitocin for the bleeding (technically, enough to be considered a hemorrhage), and monitor me.
The same thing happened to me with Ryden's birth.

Then my mom brought in Ryden to meet his baby brother. He was SO happy to meet him.
I couldn't believe how happy he was.






After getting me bandaged, and cleaned up, Escher was finally weighed.

11 pounds and a whopping 2 ounces!
Seriously, are you kidding me?
We were all in disbelief and amazement!!!!!


Over the next several hours, I held my sweet baby, nursed him, ate carrot cake and a roast beef sandwich, was monitored, got two bags of fluids
(low blood pressure to begin with plus loss of blood equals extra low pressure), and finally got tucked into our bed.
It was after 10 pm, and the midwives were finally on their way out.

And we were a family of four. Sweet happiness.
 
I think back to how everything played out, and couldn't be happier with the decisions we made.
Had I been with an OB, and not my patient midwife, I would have definitely been convinced to induce.
For size, and for going late. That would have been such a harder labor for Escher, especially considering how his cord was, and possibly a section.
Not the end of the world, but honestly, not nearly as gentle as how things turned out for him.

I am so thankful for everything, and so thankful it is over… hah!
Though, I am a bit sad because my baby boy is already four days old.
Time stood still for weeks, and now the days are flying by.

Stay golden pony boy. :)


**edit to add a couple of other favorites......

Ryden waiting to come in and bring his baby brother his new teddy bear. ♥




and my mom making phone calls


and poor, sweet Ilsa.........

love,
us plus one

Still Cookin'..........

........... and I am ok with it.

Baby is still inside just doing his thing.

As for me, I am 1-2 cm dilated, 50% effaced and baby is at about 0 station.

For those of you who don't what that means, it means nothing.
It means the baby could come tonight or next week. haha!

To me, it means my body is gearing up, so, this I like.

I, also, just got my staples removed an hour ago. So, one of my biggest worries, having a newborn and having to go to the hospital ER, is no longer scaring me.
Maybe little boy knew this and held off for that reason.

Even though I am strangely calm about being "past due". I know my feelings might be completely different tomorrow.
At this point, in my hormonal roller coaster, emotions are like the weather.

Just ask Eric. :)

That's it for now.
I hope my next update is baby update, but i know it probably won't be.

Michele

♥ oh yeah, Happy Valentine's Day!! ♥

Life Lesson #673

I learned a very important life lesson last night.

When you are 39+ weeks pregnant, and pushing 170 lbs..... do not, I repeat, DO NOT insist on sitting in chairs made for children. It will only disappoint you in the end, in more ways than one.

Last night, as I bathed Ryden, I sat in the chair we always sit in to do so. It's one of his little chairs, and is just the right height for the bath tub.
As I got him out of the tub, much to my shock an horror, the chair buckled under me, and I fell pretty hard and hit my head on the wall behind me.
Well, actually the wooden casing around the window behind me.

I think with all the hormones, and the shock of falling (luckily really low to the ground), I started to bawl like crazy.
At first, Ryden thought I was laughing and attempted to laugh with me.
He then realized I was crying and wanted to give me hugs and kisses.

So, here I am trying to pick my fat ass up off the floor, and at the same time, I put my hand to the back of my head only to find my fingers have blood on them. :(
This, of course, made me cry more.
All while trying to get out of the grips of my hugging son.
Such a precious little sweetie. Man, do I love him.
And sadly, this is probably the only time I have not been composed in front of him.

I called Eric right away and asked him to come home. He, of course, flew out of work.
I was really upset, but told him I was fine. I just wanted him to come check me over.

I sat on the couch and iced it, while continuing to whimper, until he got home.

When he got home, he started to check it.
Confirmed that, yes, there was a gash. Pretty long, but so far looked ok.
Although, once he got to the top of it, he stopped and said that I have to go to the doctor and get stitched.

Great, I thought.
Though, I did have a feeling it might be bad.

So, I call my mom to come over and watch Ryden.
I am so thankful for her. She flew over, and allowed us to leave Ryden here while we left to go sit at the ER.

After getting 3 staples (Eric said it should have been more), and declining a tetanus shot (why did they even ask- it was a clean wound that I got indoors, no where near dirt, that bled and flushed itself well), we were finally on our way home.
Two and a half hours later, and just a little after midnight. And Eric had not eaten dinner. :(
Blah!!

And the worst part.... I have to get them removed in 7-10 days. This is going to be such a pain if I am just PP from having the baby.  There is no way I am taking a newborn in there, it just felt so germy and yuck!
I'll figure something out.
Not to mention, I have to wait two days to wash my hair, and the back is all matted with blood.
Nice, I say.


Only click on me if you want to see the gash- minor gore.

And pic with the 3 staples.

yes, I had Eric takes pics when we were at the ER.

Yesteday, I told the full moon to bring it.
Eric told me to watch what I asked for. heh!!
I am now really ok with waiting for baby, so, something good did come from it.

Oh, man... and now I am looking at the post I wrote right before I started to bathe Ryden, and was talking about how not much was happening. Boy, was I in for a surprise!!

Michele

39 Weeks of Nada.....

Quick update. Yesterday, I hit the 39 week mark. Unfortunately, that is about as exciting as the day got.
I had my appt. today. All is well with the baby and I . He was pretty jazzed, too. Angie and I also agree that he seems to be 8 plus pounds right now.
He's in the best labor position, and Angie said he his was down really low.
Yay!

Last week, I told her that I had a feeling I would definitely be seeing her for this appt. I was right. Although, even though I am sure I will see her for my 40 week, for some reason, I wasn't sure enough to say it this time.

Maybe wishful thinking...... maybe a glimmer of intuition?
Preferably the latter. :)

Damn pot.... can't stop watching it.

Other than that, not much going on.
Feeling good. Feeling ready. Just waiting.

I also remembered today that it took me almost a week after having Ryden to really process my birth and write a birth story. The experience was so overwhelming, and super painful, that I knew I wasn't going to be having another baby any time soon.
I felt that natural birth is an exceptional tool for birth control. hah!

While remembering all this, I realized that I need to get serious and stop romanticizing labor so much.
I mean, it is pretty amazing, but was the hardest thing I had ever done.... in every way.
I don't want to go into this labor forgetting all of that.
Some bit of denial is good, but not completely forgetting the truth.


I will simmer on how hard it was, but still remind myself that I got through it, and I can do it again.
And that's it. :)

Anyhoo, off to bathe the boy and put him to bed.
Babymoon soon, I hope. :)

Michele

I Heart February!!

 This is the month! The month I meet my sweet little Valentine. ♥

As long as I don't go two weeks past my due date, of course.
*crosses fingers*

Monday, I hit the monumental moment called 38 weeks. Baby is term, though still has a little more time to cook. I can't tell you the relief that goes with that. Not that I have had any issues with pre-term labor. Just knowing that you can actually see the finish line is an amazing feeling.

Shockingly, I feel better right now than I did in the beginning of the third tri-mester. Something about my body adjusting to where it's at really helps.

And you know what?
I sleep. Not trying to brag (sorry other mamas, I've been there, too). But to an insanely pregnant woman, silly things like these are a big freakin' deal!

Still got my ankles. Cause you know, with all the blessed things that come with pregnancy... nice, swollen kankles are something that usually accompany late pregnancies.

That's why you should be nice to us, cause things can suck!

As for baby boy... I am starting to get a little freaked out by how ACTIVE he is. Ryden was never this crazy active, nor was he ever this rough.
Not to mention, this late in pregnancy.

I truly see the word 'gentle' being the mantra of my future.

There are times when he is so rough, that I am actually afraid he is going to break my bag of waters.
Being that he is a little brother, I do not think he is going to have any problem holding his own.

I am actually starting to worry about Ryden getting pushed around. haha!!

I think I have some baby estimates........ two of them, in fact.

If I go early, it will be next thursday, and the stats will be.........
date: 2/9/2012
weight: 8lbs. 14 ozs.
length: 22 inches

and if I go late. it will be the wednesday two days after my EDD.......
date: 2/15/2012
weight: 9lbs. 3ozs.
length: 23 inches

I could be completely wrong, but I am feeling like this baby is going to be long. I think that is why he is so rough inside. Maybe he isn't, and he is just rough.

There ya go. Anyone else have any guesses?

And just for fun, here is my 38 week side by side comparison of Ryden and now.... really not much different................ :)




As for Ryden, he is great though a bit trying this past week or two.

He is yelling/whining the word 'NO'
He has been snatchy with everything and definitely not gentle.
He says 'mine' to just about anything that he wants.
Everything is "I do it by myself!"
*emphasis on the exclamation point!!!*

And quite a few other things, but we are dealing.

I don't think it has aything to do with the baby. I just think it is that time of the year where he tests boundaries.
As any strong willed person should.
He hasn't done it in months, thankfully, so, we are just rolling with it.

I find myself becoming a master in outsmarting a two year old.
Some of you wonder... this is something to be mastered?
You bet your butt it is!! And I quite pride myself on my mad skills!!!

haah!!

My best tactic is learning how to word things. When I want him to do something specific, I say, "do you want mommy to help you do so and so, or you do you want to do it all by yourself?"
Cause I know, without hesitation, he is going to say by himself.
Saying 'no' doesn't even cross his mind at that point.
And mommy wins!!

But for every pain Ryden causes, he still amazes me to no end. This is Ryden at the dentist for the very first time.
And I knew he would probably do well, but he definitely made me extremely proud.
When it comes to going to the doctor and whatnot, he is my child.
I have always been a good patient. Even when I was little.
Plus, I really try to explain everything to him, and prep him days if not weeks ahead of time.

And seriously, the amazing waiting room nearly blew his mind!!!
Not to mention, the TVs on the ceiling (hence headphones). Pure brilliance!




♥
me