Potty Learning Process- My Way.

So, as I am in the thick of it with potty training my second son, I've come to my own theory of the process. I think this holds true to all children, though the time frame may vary.
However, since I do potty awareness with my babies from such a young age, this theory does not take into account the fear factor that older toddlers have. Both of my children have grown accustom to the potty from the get-go and have done the most of their learning before the age of major fear issues.
Also, before their favorite word is NO. Though, I think that is mostly for my benefit.
Also, neither of my children have any learning, emotional or physical handicaps that might delay this process all together.
Either way, I still think the theory holds true for all children, it's just those other things will affect the efficiency and timeliness of the process.
I, personally, do not believe you have to wait for signs of "readiness". I think that like lots of other things, potty learning is taught. I, also, think it is much easier done early than later. While your child is still wanting to please, not asserting their ability to say NO and before they have major fear issues.
Remember, this is just my opinion from my experiences.
I do agree with following your child's lead when it comes to things that provide them with much comfort. I do not feel that soiling themselves is one of those things. I think they are just doing what they have been taught to do.
I, personally, blame the disposable diaper companies for delaying this process.
Again, my opinion.
With that being said.....

I believe that there are several major stages to potty learning.

1) The potty equals elimination of pee and poop.

This first step is reached through timing, repetition, cues, praise and lots of hawk eye watching of your little one. During this phase, eventually your child will figure out that sitting on the potty means it's time to eliminate.
At the beginning of the phase, you will potty your child at specific intervals (depending on your child's own timing). At first, you will notice that your little only eliminates when absolutely needed. After several days of consistency, you will notice your child actually trying to eliminate when put on the potty. Therefore, they are growing aware of the connection between the potty and attempting to use it.
All in all, when consistent, this process takes 2-5 days.

2) Eliminating is ONLY for the potty.

I feel this one is a little tougher, cognitively, and takes more time to master. Even when the child has mastered the first stage, they still are unaware of "accidents" and why thy are accidents. During this stage, that light bulb clicks.
This step is reached through further consistency, timing, praise, and lots of dialogue. Even using the dialogue of No and why we don't eliminate outside the potty. And in no way do I mean scolding. Just explanation. Like, "no no, pee pee is for the potty. Not your underwear". Make sure to use an even tone, matter of fact voice. Keep it light, yet consistent, and just carry on. This is also where you loosen up on the cues, and allow your child to make some mistakes, while being close enough to catch them mid process. These are precious opportunities that allow you the redirect your child and explain why. I find this IS the best way for them to connect the dots. But make sure you are there to redirect them while it is happening. That's the most important part. Since this skill is tougher to master, I think it takes anywhere from 5 days to two weeks.

3) Feeling the urge before it's time to eliminate and controlling it.

Though, I feel this stage takes much longer to complete, I think your child can be mostly potty trained while mastering it. And that is because those first weeks and months, you will still be reminding your child to use the potty or asking if they need to.
During this stage, they should be able to tell you if they need to use the potty/ or take themselves- most of the time.
Constant reminders, especially before outings or long trips are necessary as is continued praise and dialogue.
Though your child can be mostly potty trained throughout this stage, the actually mastery could take months. You'll know this stage is completed when accidents are down to almost none.

4) Overnight Dryness

This is the final stage of the entire potty learning experience. This also applies to naps. And for some children, it is mastered before the potty learning process is even started. Some babies just do not eliminate while they sleep. Others, it can take longer for them to be cognitive enough to not eliminate during the night, or to wake up enough to take themselves to the potty. Though I feel this is the final stage of potty learning, it's the only one that I think comes at the child's own pace. Unlike the the other 3 stages that can be taught, this stage comes in due time. IMO.

I will add that during the entire potty learning process, I think there are certain things I find to be hugely beneficial.

Consistency
Routine
Major praise
Rewards
Happy Dances :)
Dialogue
Planning

And most importantly, if you decide to potty train, commit to it. Pick a time where you can devote your self to your child. Otherwise, if you go back and forth, you will only cause confusion.
Right now, I have a 4 year old, work 4 days a week, yet, I still am able to devote the time needed to my 18 month old during this process.

I hope this made sense, and someone finds it as beneficial as I do.

Michele

And They Said It Couldn't Be Done!

Last week was a week of no misses! Well, technically, there was the start of a miss while I was holding Ryden- which also happens to be the same day he started to do a potty dance and I thought he was dancing. :)
But right when I noticed, he had already stopped, we went to the bathroom and he finished there. That was on Thursday.
So, from Monday which was Day 6 until Sunday he had 1/2 a miss.

I think I might call this a potty learning success. I really do believe after almost two weeks we are pretty much there!

He usually tells us every time he has to pee. Though sometimes we remind him first. He also does his potty dance which is really cute.
And to top it off, last night, for the very first time, he stayed dry the entire night!!! I am so proud of him that he is already making that connection. I hope he continues with it.
He was also sick last week. So, to have success, even through all of that, says A LOT!

One thing funny... now, instead of getting a cookie, he would rather you give him a piece of toilet paper to put in the potty when he is finished. Like we do... haha!

I am going to continue to remind him about going to the potty, especially when we are out and at new places. I don't want distractions and confusion of where the potty is to lead to accidents.



So, for everyone reading this... if you have a toddler, no time is too early. It doesn't hurt to try. As long as you don't mind helping them every time, dryness is an option for them to have.
Ryden turns 19 months on the 25th and I believe, without a doubt, he will be a complete success story by then. Sooner than I had thought but not hoped.

with much love and dryness,

us :)

Day 7 makes a Week!

and again, NO MISSES!!!

I'm not quite sure what all this means, but I like it. I know he isn't there yet, but he is a whole lot further than he was a week ago. Who would have ever thought this is where we would be!?!

He did initiate the potty a couple of times today. He also went quite a few times more than yesterday, and is starting to hold it for longer intervals in between going. I have backed off from bothering him every thirty minutes or so. And I have started to only ask and remind him instead of mentioning it AND putting him on the potty.
If I know it has been a LONG time, I might mention it while walking him over to the potty.

Seems to be working. :)

He also went on and on saying Pee before bed tonight while I was putting him down. So, I undressed him (he is still in a cloth diaper for over-night) and took him to the bathroom. He did a big pee and still went on and on saying, "I peed!!!"

haha... I told him he was fantastic.

He is still saying Pee to gas which continues to crack me up.

The day he starts telling me he has to go, and I only have to remind him in new places and when he is REALLY distracted, I will consider my work done. Until then, we shall see. :)

michele

Day 6 and a sick little bunny..........

...... but no misses!!!!
Yep, that's right!! Though, I don't think he peed as much as usual being sick. That might have helped.
I also won against the elusive poo. :) It took some coaxing to get Ryden to let go of it on the potty, bu the did. He said his 'no no no' a couple of times. It made me wonder if he thought poo = no. So, I had to let him know that it is ok on the potty, just no in his underwear.

Definitely a quickie update. We went on one errand to the store, and I took him to the potty there.
He also stopped peeing every time I put him on the potty, which I think is good. Just when he really needs to. :)

have a good night all-

love,
us

Oh, Day 5.... The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.

3 misses, today!!! and all in all, I should be happy.

One pee miss during breakfast this morning, one on the way back from the ZOO and the DOOZY was missing his poo this evening. After the last day of missing it, I really wanted to catch this one. Probably more of me wanting to win over that dang poop, and not as much for training reasons. I feel like the poo is taunting me, and it's killing me!!

haha... kind of, but not really.

As for the big win today, Ryden wore his undies all day, again. And this was even at the Zoo this afternoon. The entire trip was around 6 1/2 hours and there was only one accident at the very end of the day on the way back. I should have know, not to let him keep chugging that water when he was going to be stuck in his car seat for an hour.
At the park, I took him to the potty two times and Eric took him once. I think he is also starting to like going in public restrooms. For now, I just hold him over the seat. Not sure about setting him on it (even with paper on it). Heck, I don't even sit on it.
I think the Zoo win is so big it should trump the elusive poo, but sadly, in my head, it doesn't.

The rest of the day, was sort of business as usual. :)

and Ryden is also getting sick, so, I am going to go easy on him. I don't want his frustrations from being sick turn to potty.
We'll see how these next couple of days go.

Michele

Day 4..... was a dance.

3 misses for the day. Not quite one step forward and two steps back... just kind of an awkward circle.

One was during our trip to Target. I knew I should have taken him to the potty there, but I was kind of testing his "holding" skills. I learned to never second guess my gut.

The second one was his big morning poopy. Something about the weekend and Eric being home, kind of made me lazy with my timing. Again, I was also kind of playing with the holding part, and seeing if he is getting any of this on his own. I caught him mid-action and said, "no, no, no- poopy goes in the potty!" and rushed him there where he finished.

The third was a surprise poopy that he had late this evening. This one wasn't a total miss in my book, because we were sitting in the living room, and I caught Ryden going to sit on his potty. Eric helped him with his pants and he peed right away (as he always does on the potty now. Every time, RIGHT away). Then he got up immediately, and Eric mentioned how he smelled like he farted. WEll, about a minute later, I heard Ryden over in the corner saying, "no! no! no!".
It was only after I checked him, that I realized why he was saying that... hahaha!
He tried the potty, but since it didn't come out right away (just pee), I think that is why he got up. Plus, we were only watching for pee. Surprise poops always throws everyone off. heh!

All this tells me that he is getting that poopy doesn't go in his undies, he's just a little in limbo about what to do. With time, we will help him and he will learn. This I am sure about.
I will also add that this was the first time Eric saw him go to the potty on his own will. I think he was very impressed with his progress.
I can still here him saying the no no no. :)

The reason why I said today was a dance is because there were quite a few highlights to balance out the misses.

This morning when he woke up, I took him to the potty right away. When I took off his diaper, I noticed it was wet, so, I thought I had already missed his morning pee. Well, I didn't. :) So, the wetness must have been from some time during the night, or really early morning. This was good info, because I didn't know if he was going the whole night dry and just peeing in the morning, or what. Now, I do.

We went to Target and bought his first pairs of little boy undies. And to all of you mamas that cloth diaper, in my opinion, they don't compare to the cuteness of toddler undies!!! I fell in love. WE got him Mickey Mouse ones, Super Y Super Reader (not sure the name, a show on PBS) and Yo Gabba Gabba ones.
That is all he wore after he woke up from his nap for the rest of the day.

Another great moment was going to the beach. After an hour of getting down there, playing and running around, we went to clean up and leave. I rinsed him off at the little beach showers, took him to the restroom- he peed!!!!!! and I changed his clothes and we set off home. And this was a big pee, so, he must have practiced some type of holding it.
He, however, did not like it when he I tried to potty him behind a bush at the beach. Probably because I took his shovel away to do so. haah!!
Our first trip out in undies and no accidents!!

I feel my next job is backing off a little and letting him make some more mistakes. At this point he is peeing EVERY time we put him on the potty, even if it is only a few drops. I think it is great that he knows what the potty is for, but I don't think it is helping him to problem solve on his own when he feels the urge to pee. He needs to be caught a couple of times mid-pee, so, I can rush him to the potty for him to realize the ONLY place you pee is the potty. Not as well. Am I being silly, or does that make since?
So, I think I am going take a backseat to all of this and see how things go. I will still offer the potty, but not as often. I will also not offer and take him anyways, unless I know it has been a while, and he is distracted.

I'm sure we will get more misses, but I think we will gain more progress in the end.

I also found this blog entry from someone else yesterday when I was googling toddler potty training and found it interesting. It confirmed a few things I have already been thinking. It also gave me an extra boost of encouragement to keep this going.

My goal is still to have him diaperless and in undies by 2. I would love for him to be diaperless at night as well, but I am not going to hold my breath on that one.

mama to a little boy in awesome undies,
me

Day 3 and Ryden is amazing!!!!!

1 miss.... and no, I'm not kidding. You read that right, we had 1 miss today, and I can't tell you how delighted that makes me.

Ryden woke up with his typical soiled diaper, plus a little added bonus... eww. We changed him and went about our morning. Everything went great, until somewhere around 11am when he had his first and only miss.
The highlight of this miss, was me walking into the living room hearing Ryden saying, "bye bye" while he was looking sown at his feet. Back story- for the past couple of months, as we flush his potties down the toilet, I would say, Bye bye to them, which he began to chime in with. I also always let him do the flushing, so, that he could be involved. Well, since he was only wearing pants, and no diaper, I knew why he was looking at he floor. :)
It honestly cracked me up!!

We continued on with our day. After his nap, I got him dressed, and put on his first diaper for the day. We were heading out for lunch. We had to run to the grocery store after lunch, so, I took him to the restroom there before we left. Well, low and behold, I held him over the potty and he peed!!! This is the first time he has peed in a public restroom since he was a wee little baby. I was so happy!!

We came home after the grocery store and he was dry. He then peed on the potty. My next highlight of the day happened a little bit later.

We now have two potties. The original one I bought about a year ago, and that has been our only potty. Just last week, I had Eric pick up one of those little toilet seats that sit on the regular one. Well, since we got the new one for the bathroom, I decided to bring his old one out into the family room. This would allow him to have more options, and have one nearby. Well, I heard something at one point, while I was cooking, and looked to see him sitting on the potty. I came to him and stood him up, pulled down his pants (since he can't do this and was sitting with them on :)) and helped him back on. I went back to cooking, and heard him doing something else. I went to check, and he was nowhere to be found. I heard something coming from the bathroom. When I walked in, I saw him dumping the pee from his little potty into the toilet. EXACTLY how I normally have done it. I truly started cracking up. I mean, come on, are you really that hilarious and on board with all of this? I guess so. And to top it off, he had only spilled a couple of drops on the toilet seat.

He is a boy... men can't even spare a couple of drops from the seat. haha!!

There was also another highlight of the day, when I heard him say, "pee" in the living room. Helped him onto the potty... and ta da- he peed!!

We went on another outing to the beach, and later on went by my mom's house to drop off some soup. He stayed dry both of those times.

I still don't know where this is leading us, but I think I need to by some cloth trainers for outings and little boy undies for home. He can't free ball it all the time, right? :)

I don't know why I am writing about this every day, but if things end as positive as I hope they will, maybe this will help someone else when they are going through it.

I am always proud of my little man, but he has really surprised me lately. I think children are capable of a lot of things, and luckily, being a stay at home mom, I can devote the time to this. I don't think you have to wait until they are "ready". I think that is something a few psychologist came up with in the 70's and the diposable diaper companies ran with it. I feel that in our case, using cloth diapers have been a wonderful incentive to start when they "get it". No matter how young.
Just like training a puppy, they don't get it overnight. But you don't give up and put a diaper on them. I think it took 4-5 months to successfully train Ilsa. I guess she was a bit stubborn, but she came around. :)

I know I will have a set-back post eventually, but for now.... I have nothing but pure bliss to write about!!!!!!

again,
one happy mama and one dry baby :)

Day 2 and still walking forward.... :)

3 slip ups on the floor first thing this morning, and the rest was history!! :)

Well, not history, but that was it in the miss department. Today was the second day, in a row, that Ryden used the potty for pooping (this one has been tuff since he started walking). I even made sure he had a lot to drink to keep him nice and hydrated and full of pee. He woke up from his nap, dry, as he usually does.
We also went on one outing, this evening, in which I was just sure that he would have an accident. Nope! Right when we got home, we went straight to the bathroom, and he peed immediately when he sat on the potty. I was so proud of him.

We are still only working off of timing and prompting, and maybe a pinch of holding it. The day that he continuously informs me of his urges to go, I will be through the moon. Not planning on it happening anytime soon, but a girl can dream. I also thought that we wouldn't go the entire day without a miss after his misses this morning. I guess I wasn't aware of how full he is so early on.

I was never sure when he would be ready, or when I would really start to tackle this full on. Apparently, now is the time. I am hopeful that this will happen smoothly and maybe even quickly, but I won't hold my breath. At this rate, I am shooting for undies by 2 years old.

And any of you that have already potty trained your kids, when did they go from being prompted to telling you they needed to go?

Mchele

1 step forward... 2 steps back... I presume.

2 wet diapers is all that Ryden had today. The rest of it went in the potty and one time on the floor. I know this probably means nothing, because it usually takes a LONG time for children to potty learm. I also know that he is much younger than most when it comes to potty learning.
However, unlike most others, I have been working with Ryden and the potty since he was a little over a month old. Never all the time, just some of the time. Well, now I am wondering if some of that is actually paying off.
Most of his wins have been because of me and timing. That is how it has always been. But as of the past couple of days and maybe a few weeks, I have noticed a couple of changes.

1) He has started to say pee pee at times, although it is usually after he pees. There was one day last week when he said it, I rushed him to the potty and he pooped. I flooded him with cookies (which only live in the bathroom) and he was quite delighted.
2) I think he is starting to hold it. Which if this is the case, I am beyond excited. The only diapers he peed in today, was the one I put on him right after he woke up and the other was at my mom's house. I tried to give him a pottytunity there, which he was having none of because we had just walked in and he wanted to play with all of his toys at grandmas. I also gave him a pottytunity at Publix. :) The other time he peed was right before his bath and it was immediately after Eric took his diaper off. It had been a couple of hours since his last pee, so, I think he waited. Even if it was on the floor, that is fine by me. :)
3) Lastly, he knows what it is and whenever I put him on the potty he tries. Even if he doesn't have to go- he still tries. It is so cute.

I know better and am not getting my hopes up. But each day I take off dry diapers and he pees in the toilet, I feel we are progressing. I also think this is an optimal learning time, because he still is in to pleasing us and hasn't become the ultra negative two year old!!!

No matter where this gets us, I will run with it!!!!!!!!!

love,
one super happy mama