Potty Learning Process- My Way.

So, as I am in the thick of it with potty training my second son, I've come to my own theory of the process. I think this holds true to all children, though the time frame may vary.
However, since I do potty awareness with my babies from such a young age, this theory does not take into account the fear factor that older toddlers have. Both of my children have grown accustom to the potty from the get-go and have done the most of their learning before the age of major fear issues.
Also, before their favorite word is NO. Though, I think that is mostly for my benefit.
Also, neither of my children have any learning, emotional or physical handicaps that might delay this process all together.
Either way, I still think the theory holds true for all children, it's just those other things will affect the efficiency and timeliness of the process.
I, personally, do not believe you have to wait for signs of "readiness". I think that like lots of other things, potty learning is taught. I, also, think it is much easier done early than later. While your child is still wanting to please, not asserting their ability to say NO and before they have major fear issues.
Remember, this is just my opinion from my experiences.
I do agree with following your child's lead when it comes to things that provide them with much comfort. I do not feel that soiling themselves is one of those things. I think they are just doing what they have been taught to do.
I, personally, blame the disposable diaper companies for delaying this process.
Again, my opinion.
With that being said.....

I believe that there are several major stages to potty learning.

1) The potty equals elimination of pee and poop.

This first step is reached through timing, repetition, cues, praise and lots of hawk eye watching of your little one. During this phase, eventually your child will figure out that sitting on the potty means it's time to eliminate.
At the beginning of the phase, you will potty your child at specific intervals (depending on your child's own timing). At first, you will notice that your little only eliminates when absolutely needed. After several days of consistency, you will notice your child actually trying to eliminate when put on the potty. Therefore, they are growing aware of the connection between the potty and attempting to use it.
All in all, when consistent, this process takes 2-5 days.

2) Eliminating is ONLY for the potty.

I feel this one is a little tougher, cognitively, and takes more time to master. Even when the child has mastered the first stage, they still are unaware of "accidents" and why thy are accidents. During this stage, that light bulb clicks.
This step is reached through further consistency, timing, praise, and lots of dialogue. Even using the dialogue of No and why we don't eliminate outside the potty. And in no way do I mean scolding. Just explanation. Like, "no no, pee pee is for the potty. Not your underwear". Make sure to use an even tone, matter of fact voice. Keep it light, yet consistent, and just carry on. This is also where you loosen up on the cues, and allow your child to make some mistakes, while being close enough to catch them mid process. These are precious opportunities that allow you the redirect your child and explain why. I find this IS the best way for them to connect the dots. But make sure you are there to redirect them while it is happening. That's the most important part. Since this skill is tougher to master, I think it takes anywhere from 5 days to two weeks.

3) Feeling the urge before it's time to eliminate and controlling it.

Though, I feel this stage takes much longer to complete, I think your child can be mostly potty trained while mastering it. And that is because those first weeks and months, you will still be reminding your child to use the potty or asking if they need to.
During this stage, they should be able to tell you if they need to use the potty/ or take themselves- most of the time.
Constant reminders, especially before outings or long trips are necessary as is continued praise and dialogue.
Though your child can be mostly potty trained throughout this stage, the actually mastery could take months. You'll know this stage is completed when accidents are down to almost none.

4) Overnight Dryness

This is the final stage of the entire potty learning experience. This also applies to naps. And for some children, it is mastered before the potty learning process is even started. Some babies just do not eliminate while they sleep. Others, it can take longer for them to be cognitive enough to not eliminate during the night, or to wake up enough to take themselves to the potty. Though I feel this is the final stage of potty learning, it's the only one that I think comes at the child's own pace. Unlike the the other 3 stages that can be taught, this stage comes in due time. IMO.

I will add that during the entire potty learning process, I think there are certain things I find to be hugely beneficial.

Consistency
Routine
Major praise
Rewards
Happy Dances :)
Dialogue
Planning

And most importantly, if you decide to potty train, commit to it. Pick a time where you can devote your self to your child. Otherwise, if you go back and forth, you will only cause confusion.
Right now, I have a 4 year old, work 4 days a week, yet, I still am able to devote the time needed to my 18 month old during this process.

I hope this made sense, and someone finds it as beneficial as I do.

Michele

The Last of The Ones

My sweet baby is one. Things will never be the same.

My mind will hold onto this image for a lifetime. So bitter sweet.

And today, he had cake.



Love you pony boy. But slow down a bit.....

Mama

Battle Wounds n All.

Long story short.
I found a knot on my side while pregnant with Escher.
When he was about 6 months, I finally went to the doctor to have it checked out.
After a cat scan, MRI, and biopsy, it was diagnosed as a Desmoid tumor on my abdominal wall.

Here is a link that talks about them. This place is one of the best centers for treating them.

desmoid tumor

I decided to go with a local general surgeon and plastic surgeon team since they felt confident with the surgery.
I didn't want to have to travel and make it even harder on my family.

I had the surgery last Tuesday on 11/27.
The surgeons said it went really well.
In a nutshell, they removed about a 5 inch chunk of my stomach muscle (on the right side) including the part that holds in your insides, put a piece of biological mesh there, pulled down a flap of muscle from above, chipped off a chunk of my hip bone, and sewed me back up.
Pathology did come back clear, so, that really lowers my chance for recurrence which is good.
They even gave me a spinal block after surgery cause they were worried about pain.
Coming out of anesthesia was the worst. I stayed in the hospital for two days, and then came home.
All in all, recovery is going well.
I cannot lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for 6 weeks. And I have a nine month old. :(
My family had been amazing! My mom has been non-stop. She does everything. Escher loves her so much that he didn't have one hiccup during the transition. I am going to have to work really hard on getting him back.
Eric has been sick, working like crazy, and managing home life.
My dad has taken me to appointments and had to handle all the hectic ness.
My brother and sis n law keep coming to see me.
My sister already came down for several days to help.
And now Eric's parents are on their way down to help for the weekend and give my mom a break.
Without family, I would be incredibly sad, and this would be impossible.

I am still nursing, and I want to thank Eric for helping me with all the pumping and drama at the hospital. He even went mama bear on some nurse that wasn't going to let him put the milk in the fridge for the patients on our floor. He said she was wearing black scrubs, had dark hair and thought she was all Johny Cash and shit. haha... she met her match! I already had approval. He caused such a stink, she was made to come and apologize to us. Even the nurse's manager came and apologized, and said they had never dealt with this. So, it was a learning lesson for all. You are welcome Indian River Medical Center.

So, here I am. Not only am I recovering, but I am sharing our bed with a toddler with the flu. And he just had the fiercest nose bleed.

Damn, we had a good run while it lasted. I'm ready for the roller coaster to start going back up, thank you. :)